Online Dating Can Be Tough

Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys:  Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man.  Are you surprised?  It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.    

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women.  Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still.  It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move.  It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line.  Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”.  The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything?  If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen. 

...And it's not a Contest

Online dating is not a competition between competing males for the attention of a female.  Grow up.  Change your mind set from “winning” to “searching”.  This isn’t high school.  You are all grown up and have been for quite some time, now.  Your attitude is the most important asset you have.  You should like yourself and not concentrate of all of the things that aren’t YOUR idea of the perfect guy…the one the all women want. 

What is that women want, you ask?  That’s the age old question.  Being of the female persuasion myself, I can tell you a few things women want and don’t want. 

Women want a man to be confident…NOT an arrogant jerk.  There’s a big difference.  You need to like yourself and not be self depreciating but you don’t need to come across like you believe that you are a gift to them from God and have just fallen from the sky.  They don’t want you to think that THEY just fell from heaven and are some kind of perfect being, either.  They can’t live up to that expectation.

Women want a communicator. The “strong silent type” really isn’t appealing at all.   They think you probably don’t have an original thought in your head and you probably haven’t heard a word they said, either or that you just don’t care what they said or didn’t even hear what they said.  They want you to be interesting enough to want to know more about you and they want you to think that they are interesting enough to ask intelligent questions about what is important to them, too.

Women do NOT want to be a prize to be won.  They don’t want to be a trophy. They want to be the ONE woman that you want to be with.